Personality Types of Children

My son has an artisan type personality (monkey!).  I always joke that it would be pretty boring around our house if he wasn’t around.  I can still see him as a toddler, standing on tip toe, reaching for the front door handle – all he wanted to do was go outside, because it’s an adventure!  Artisans want to enjoy every moment of their life!

Wouldn’t you know it, tonight as I was talking on the phone about what I was going to write on this very blog post, Steven was demanding my attention.  I’m sure you’ve experienced this.  You are in a completely separate room doing something by yourself.  Last check, your artisan child was busy doing something somewhere else.  Somehow they have this sixth sense that tells them that you are not paying attention to them.  He comes and stands right next to me – of course arms and shoulders touching me – holding his science notebook and pencil, and of course talking non-stop about who knows what, but it’s so important that he has to tell me right now while I’m on the phone.

I try to ignore him – he’ll get the hint, right?
No, then, somehow there happens to be a bicycle bell within his reach and, you guessed it, he starts to ring it……and ring it…..until I hang up the phone and take it away.

He won.

I have to thank him, though.  He managed to demonstrate so many of the artisan/monkey misbehaviors wrapped in one little two minute package.

So often, the mistaken goal of these artisans is they are seeking revenge.  This of course can bring out the impatient and critical parent that will just make matters worse.  There are many other ways to deal with these busy artisans.

The most important thing is to accept that they need independence.  That truly motivates them and they will always decide what they want to do and stop at nothing to get it.

I’m sure you guardian/bear type parents are thinking “But they just have to do what I tell them.”  But remember, they are not motivated the same way you are. They don’t just follow the rules because they are supposed to – they’re different!

The choice is yours.  You have to think differently about how to approach the situation. Maybe you have something very important to do and your child wants to do something else.  Instead of getting more and more irritated with them since they won’t leave you alone, you might say something like : “OK.  I know you really want ______ right now, so how about we do that, but after we’re done, you owe me 30 minutes of quiet so I can get this finished.”
I can’t tell you how many times this has worked with my child and many of my students.  Rewards and gifts also motivate the artisan child.

More tomorrow!!!