4. Practicing Music? Use Rewards!!

Reward, Reward, Reward!!!

You might be thinking, “I don’t like using rewards because it’s bribery.”  Well check out this website about encouragement and positive reinforcement and you’ll find that rewards are definitely not a bad thing.  They are actually what your child needs in order to feel that you are proud of them. Showing interest in their progress and building them up when they get discouraged gives them the confidence they need to keep going.  Practicing music can be hard sometimes, but that’s no reason to give up, right?  If they are really struggling, reward their effort, their attitude, their posture, and their persistence. If a child senses that you are disappointed, they may give up, say they don’t like it, or say they don’t want to come to class anymore, but really they are saying, “I don’t think I can do this, I worry that I’m not good enough to make you proud of me.”
Think about what is important during these situations. How do you want your child to feel?  That they have to play their music perfectly?  That they can’t make mistakes?  Or do you want your child to love music and grow up with it in their lives so that music will forever provide them joy? That one, right??? So your job is to remember that and reward and encourage your child.  Praise them for their accomplishments and all of the beautiful music they make so they are motivated to want to continue practicing music.

What can you do to reward your child? Lots of things!!! Words of praise, smiles, hugs, kisses, high fives, stickers, trips to the park, a happy face in their book, a piece of their favorite food, a trip to their favorite restaurant, a new toy, or reward them with choices (for instance, if they play the piece with curvy fingers they can choose the next activity, or choose what movie you’re going to watch tonight).

I’m sure you’re wondering “How will my child improve if I never point out their mistakes?” Keep in mind that you are their practice partner and not their teacher – so sit back and relax.  Enjoy the music you hear!  Being a critical partner can lead to anxiety and frustration in your child and they may not enjoy practicing.  Not to mention, anxiety and nervousness causes many children to make even more mistakes than normal. Yikes!  So what can you do? Try to wait and see if they can fix their own mistakes. This makes for a much better learning tool because it helps your child become more independent and invested in their own practicing.  And this allows the music to do the teaching.  They, too, can hear the music and can tell if it sounds right, and if they can’t figure it out after several tries, you can say “That was pretty good but something sounded funny, right? Let’s listen to the CD and remind ourselves how the song goes.”

Bottom line – Reward your children because they need to know you are proud of them and then they can relax and enjoy making music more and more.